What type of bird mom are you?

There are three types of moms out there that I detest.  They are not bad moms per se but they annoy the ever-loving shit out of me.  I am not perfect.  My many blogs and stories are now concrete proof of that.  I will make mistakes, my kids may need therapy, and I will never win a Pinterest award but I think that I am generally a good mom.   I am not sure about the following types of mom.  Now, this may seem harsh but it is just my view and opinion and if you don’t like, read through to the bottom.

 

The Stick-My-Head-in-the-Sand Mom or the Ostrich.   This mom thinks that her kids are fine.  If you ask her she will tell you just that, “Oh, they’re all fine.”  Even if they are starring in porn or have just burnt their house down.  She refuses to acknowledge that her kids are not perfect and sometimes, kids are bad.  She does not admonish her kids but accepts all behavior, good and bad, as normal and even praises it.  “Yes, I know that Shelly has been bullying all the kids in class but it’s just because she is a leader and wants the other kids to know it.”  Yeah, that’s why

The My-Mom-Raises-My-Kids-But-I-Pretend-That-I-Do or the Cuckoo.  This mom lets her a grandparent do everything for her kids.  Changing diapers, feeding, taking them to school, basically the grandparent is the nanny while the mom plays like she has been doing it.   These moms will bitch about how tired or stressed they are when they have only been an audience to someone else doing all the work.   They will never take their kids out on their own but rely on the grandparent to do it.  “My mom had Porsha all weekend and I was just exhausted when she came home and I had to cook for her.”  Sit this one out, lady.

The My-Kid-Is-My-Best-Friend Mom or the Peacock.  This mom needs so much help.  Ugh, I can’t even.  This is the mom who values a friendship with their child over a relationship.  She will go on about how close they are and how they do all these fun things together and how they just are the best friends ever.  Kids needs boundaries and parents, not parents that are friends.  There is a time for your child to be a friend.  When they are adults.   This mom also wants to be the “cool” parent and may have a hard time actually acknowledging that her “best friend” is an entitled brat.

I realize that I am being judgmental here.  I value the help that my own mother gave me over the years but I raised my kids, not her.  A grandparent taking a kid for an overnight or even a weekend is a blessing not a lifestyle.  I also know that sometimes it’s easier to ignore something your kid is doing than acknowledge it but #7 peeing on the cat is not #7’s every behavior swept under the rug.  In regards to the parents out there who genuinely feel like their child is their best friend:  Get a Life.  Your kid is not your friend.  Your kid is your child who needs you to be a parent.  My mom was one of my best friends.  When I was an adult.  When I was a child she was a mom.

I have a mixed bag of children.  #1 is going to be 25.  I love her and enjoy talking with her and hanging out with her (especially since she moved out on her own) but she has a group of friends to hang out with.  #2 is almost 22 and again, love it when he come to visit but I do not need to go to the local bars with my kid to maintain a relationship.  #3 is 19, has my sense of humor and we laugh at the most inappropriate things.  He is funny and gets away with a lot but again, not my friend, and he does make bad choices that he is called out on.  #4 and #5 are both still in high school.  They need me to parent them and set boundaries and ground them from electronics.  When they move out we can grab lunch and my role will be less authoritative and more tolerant.

#6 and #7 have a long road ahead before they get any slack as one is a toddler and the other is just graduating kindergarten.  They are the most impressionable and it is our job as parents and family to make sure that we are teaching them morals and manners so they too can grow up and be decent adults.  Like their siblings.  Who I hope they are friends with.

Rant over.

For full disclosure, I did not write this to anyone in particular.  This is not a passive-aggressive dig at anyone that I know or may come to know.  If you feel prickly after reading this think about what kind of bird mom you want to be.

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