Valentines Day or the pressure to remember that you love your spouse


♥So Valentine’s Day is upon us once again♥.

I see and hear stories about how single people hate this holiday because of the expectations of finding someone to spend this ONE particular day with but there is little information about the expectation you have as a married person on Valentine’s Day.

I actually have no expectations.  S.O. and I both have the same idea about Valentine’s Day: we don’t need one day a year to express our love to each other, we show each other every day by continuing to stay and work on our relationship.  Plus I do his laundry and bore his children so there’s that.

I have never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day.   In grade school it was all about the candy and which kids had the rich parents who actually gave Valentine’s Day candy instead of the just the paper Valentines.  In middle school it was all about who got the most instagram candies.  This was a particularly horrid experience:  you could for the price of .50¢ send your friends, crushes, and boyfriends/girlfriends a heart shaped sucker.  You didn’t want to be the kid that didn’t get a single one or worse: to get one from someone you didn’t like.  Than high school rolled around and it was about whose boyfriend/girlfriend did what for them.  My high school boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine’s Day to pursue someone else.  He came crawling back after a couple of days but that just cemented it:  Valentine’s Day blows.

It doesn’t help that I am not a traditional romantic type person.  The way to my heart is not through flowers and jewelry and telling me how nice I look.  The way to my heart is to take me out to dinner, look the other way when I eat a whole box of Little Debbie’s, and compliment me on my keen intellect. Let me sleep in, take a nap, read a book. Ignore the fact that I’ve worn yoga pants and the same hoody for two days and that my hair has possibly not been brushed in three.  These are the little ways that remind me of how much my S.O. loves me.   I show my love by making sure he doesn’t have to go to work in dirty clothes, making him things like sausage and potatoes when I think it’s disgusting, listen to him talk about work and tractors, and livestock and not nod off.  I let him know he’s appreciated and sometimes adored.  I point out the food in his beard and the hair on his back.  I think it works pretty well for us.

If you need someone to completely fawn all over you for Valentine’s Day, than more power to you.  I am not begrudging you this day, but I am not going to be an active participant in how one day of the year needs to be spectacularly over the top about how much you’re loved.

In short, some people view Valentine’s Day as the ultimate love letter to their beloved, their crushes, their epitome of what love should look like.  I prefer to remember that as far back as my memory allows, Valentine’s Day was the day that Al Capone shot up a rival crew in a garage.  And that sums up Valentine’s Day just fine for me.



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