Things that my toddler has done today

 

He looks cute but so do skunks!

He looks cute but so do skunks!

#7 used to be such a good baby.  He was never fussy.  He slept through the night.  He slept in his own crib.  He would always fall asleep in the car seat.  He liked to cuddle and I could take him out for hours before he would get cranky.  I miss old #7.

New #7 is kind of a dick.  He is.  He insists on sleeping with #6 now.  Which wouldn’t be so bad if #6 did not insist that she sleep with us.  I now have two kids sleeping on a mattress on our bedroom floor.  Right next to our bed.  He doesn’t want to cuddle anymore.  He does want to destroy everything and everyone that he sees though so that’s progress. 

Today, #7 has been particularly trying.  The following is a list, in no particular order, of how much of an ass #7 has been today. 

#7 is now fascinated by poop.  Not pooping in the potty, mind you, oh no, he is only fascinated by talking about it constantly.  And asking me if I want to eat it.  And making farting noises with such force that he can now poop on command.  In his pants.  While talking about pooping.  I have to give him credit for finding something new and sticking with it. 

He only wants his juice, water, etc. in a specific sippy cup.  Which is whatever sippy cup I cannot find at the moment.  He will not drink anything until it’s found.  I am worried he is going to be dehydrated.  And he keeps misplacing his sippy cup.  It’s an endless vicious cycle. 

He has learned how to turn the volume up on the family room t.v.  I have listened to Mickey, Peppa, and Jake at AC/DC levels today.  He keeps doing it.  I have hid the remote and he has learned how to use the buttons on the t.v.   This is a battle I am winning as I have unplugged the t.v. and told him that he broke it. 

He learned how to unbuckle himself from his car seat.  He stood up in the backseat while I was doing 55 mph and almost gave me a heart attack.  He refuses to sit in his car seat.  He may or may not have been duct taped in at a certain point.  Who am I kidding, I can never find tape.  I did manage to get him to sit back down by bribing him with cookies.  

He has learned how to throw cookies at my head while I am driving.  I may have a tiny role to play in this as I gave him the damned cookies in the first place.  And I am kind of astounded that he has such as good arm at 2 1/2.  

He dumped coffee all over the kitchen floor.  It was lukewarm because I had forgotten that I had put it on the kitchen counter.  Which leads me to his new fascination with dragging chairs to the counter and pulling things off of them.   And the fact that he thinks that he has gotten burnt from lukewarm coffee.  I had to give him another cookie to calm him down. 

He dumped all of my clean clothes out on the floor of the living room.  That I had just folded.  For the third time.  

He put a plastic 32 oz. cup in the toilet and I didn’t notice it until after.  I will not go into the gory details but it has to deal with his fascination with poop and now I need to double check before I sit on the potty.  

I love #7.  I also love my sanity and I have a feeling that it is going to be called into question before the day is over.   If anyone has seen old #7 I would gladly trade him for this new, not so improved version.  Please!

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