September 2016


I enjoy living in the country.  It is an adjustment for sure.  I can no longer order pizza to be delivered.  I have to drive 15 minutes to get to a gas station and if I want to go into town than its a little further away but the drive there is pretty.  I am not going to proclaim that I am a country girl because there are things about country living that I am still getting used to.

Internet.  I had totally taken for granted the ability to stream Netflix and pursue Pinterest for hours.  Before we moved to the Farmhouse I had unlimited internet and never had to think about data caps.  Now I have to parcel out what series on Netflix I want to watch (Narco!) and keep track of how much the kids are using the internet.  We have a data cap with our current and only internet provider and it kind of sucks.  The plus side:  the boys can’t just sit in their rooms playing online games for hours.   The downside:  #6 can’t stream YouTube for hours and now insists on acting out her favorite videos to me.  All the time.

Food.  I used to be able to pick up the phone and order food and it would magically be delivered to my front door.  If I wanted General Tso’s chicken than I only had to throw on my trusty yoga pants and drive 5 minutes away, same goes for ice cream and fajitas.  Now I have to plan meals in advance and make the food.  The plus side:  we are eating together more often as a family.    The downside:  I have to cook said meals.

Bugs.  Because my lovely S.O. works in agriculture, he would regularly spray the yard and house for critters like spiders, mosquitoes, and such.   Now that our yard is roughly the size of a suburban mall it is a little harder to contain the insect population.   Also, I never knew that grasshoppers were so prolific.  With all the fields around us it is impossible to keep the insect population down to a slight annoyance.  I’m talking about you moths and cicadas.   The plus side:  insects can be beneficial and my plants are doing better.  The downside:  bugs, ya know.

School.  The kids now have to ride the bus to school.   #6 was excited as she has always been a car rider because her old school was literally across the street.  That is, until she actually rode the bus.  Now she misses the 2 minute car ride.   #4 and #5 don’t mind the bus ride, they can nap on the way to school and it provides an incentive to get their driver’s license and/or make friends with kids who have a car.  Plus side:  Getting dressed in the morning is totally optional as the bus driver doesn’t care that I’m wearing pajama bottoms and an old Corona t-shirt.  Downside:  I’m wearing pajama bottoms and an old Corona t-shirt.

Pets.  We had two indoor house cats, Gus and Ivan the Purrible.  We still have the two house cats but we inherited three barn cats, Chuck Nelson, Skinny Pete and Kate the Cat.  Gus looks upon the barn cats with disdain and disgust however Ivan has embraced his country brethren with gusto and now runs with a bad crowd.  Also, turns out Kate the Cat was never spayed so we also have two kittens who have made their way inside: Neville Longwhiskers and Phyllis.  I went from two housecats to 7.  And the chickens.  We have four hens and an incredibly annoying rooster.  More on that in a later blog.   Plus side:  I will never have to worry about a rodent problem.  Or squirrels, Or birds.   Downside:  I’m one llama away from having a petting zoo.   Plus side:  I’m one llama away from a petting zoo.

I am getting used to the difference in living in the country.  I am embracing a slower paced life and enjoying more family time together.  It is a work in progress and I even listen to country music every now and then.  But not like the new country music with skinny jeans and three word band names.  I have my standards.    So, farm life is not so bad.  And thank god I have Dish Network so that I am not completely shut off.

Till next time, dear reader.  Till next time.


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This is exactly how it went!

This is exactly how it went!

And the saga of the horrors of moving continues.  I promise, dear reader, I will only subject you to this last blog about how incredibly disorganized and frustrating this move was.  I can only relieve this so often before my facial tics start to come back!

Once we accomplished the move to the Farmhouse, we only had to unpack and settle in.   Easier said than done.  Our internet was held up for over a month because, and here’s a surprise, the internet provider never told me I needed to have a post set 4 feet into the ground for them to install their satellite dish.  This information would have been nice to know, prior to the tech coming out to install it.  So we installed a damned pole.  And then the internet people took their own sweet time to come out and install it.   It’s okay, I don’t have anything better to do than wait for them to do their job and run up my cellphone bill so #6 can get her YouTube fix.

Now that we were moved in, it was time to unpack and make the house feel like home.  If I could find all of my boxes.  And if I were organized enough to have put boxes in the rooms that they needed to be in.  Which I did.  At the old house.  By the time the boxes and furniture arrived at the Farmhouse they had morphed into a disorganized pile of boxes full of crap.  I actually only unpacked the last box a couple of days ago.  Still haven’t found my box of Tupperware lids but I did find the junk drawer box.   Yay, me!

During the move, #4’s box springs got damaged.  By damaged I mean they imploded in the back of the trailer.  Add new box springs to list of things that I need, along with about 5 boxes of wine.   #3 couldn’t find his bedsheets and refused to put the Disney sheets or flower sheets that I could find on it.  Who knew 19 year olds were picky about what they sleep on?  #5 had packed all the various video games and equipment but failed to remember where he put the power cords for said video games.  He is the least favorite child of his siblings at the moment.  They are probably in the same box as my Tupperware lids.

#6 decided she did not want to share a room with #7 and begrudgingly gave up a small corner of her room for his toys.  She is a sweetie like that.  She also decided that her sheets were too scratchy for the new house and insisted on putting flannel sheets on her bed.  Good luck with this decision as the temperature crawls up in the high 90’s.

The cats made the transition to the new house smoothly by immediately running upstairs and hiding out in a closet for 4 days.  We lured them out with the promise of open fields and plentiful mice.  Gus, my gray boy, has decided that he does not like the farm life and rarely ventures out the back door.  Ivan, our little black one, made fast friends with barn cats and now I am worried he is going to get in fights and stay out past curfew.   He is hanging out with a bad crowd.


So the move is complete, we finally have internet, we are basically unpacked and settling in.   I set a date to have an autumn themed party to show off the Farmhouse and set a time limit on how quick I need to get everything put away and to push S.O. into cleaning out the outbuildings and garage.   Hey, it could happen!

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Be it ever so humble... jk, that is a barn!

Be it ever so humble… jk, that is a barn!

Hello, dear readers!  I feel like I have been gone for so long that Ryan Lochte is no longer a topic of conversation!  I completely underestimated how long moving a household of 9 people plus 2 cats would take.  We are officially moved into the new house, here forth the Farmhouse, and boy do I have some stories to tell.

First, moving sucks.  I am glad that we have moved and while I miss the convenience of having stores, gas stations, and fast food within 2 miles of my house I am adjusting to it.  I unpacked my last box of crap about 2 days ago so I guess I can say that I am done unpacking.  Except for the garage and that is going to remain S.O.’s bailiwick.

We moved over the Fourth of July weekend and not only was everyone too busy to help move (not everyone, to my family members that helped, I love you and owe you.  To the family members that didn’t, you suck.) but Mother Nature decided to help by having torrential rains.  Love you too, bitch.  #2 had to work that weekend and while #1 is an organizing guru, her heavy lifting skills are questionable.  #3, #4, and #5 gave it a valiant effort but between them standing around not knowing what goes where and #6 and #7 acting like their juice boxes were spiked with meth, it was not fun.  S.O. and I argued, fought, decided we hated the new house, and somehow kept our marriage intact.

So, yes, I am glad that we are moved in.  The Farmhouse is starting to really feel like home and I am slowly getting adjusted to life in the country.   The first week involved trying to find my box of everyday clothes (#2 had them in his car for a few weeks), deciding that well water was not going to kill us even if the smell at first almost did (turns out you have to prime well pumps), having no internet and no possible way of getting internet, and deciding that Dish TV was a godsend.  Thank god for Peppa, Mickey, and Ben and Holly.   They managed to keep the toddlers busy enough that we were able to unpack and put up beds and not sleep outside in the car.

I learned that I still have too much junk, you will always have a missing box or two never to be seen again (I’m looking at you, box full of Tupperware lids!), and that next time we are hiring someone to move us even if I have to sell a kid.    I learned that there are not enough lights out in the country to not remind me of very single horror movie that I have ever seen and that our neighbors are curious about this large brood that moved in a ½ mile away from them.   The stars are beautiful at night with no light pollution to block them out, the sounds of crickets and cicada’s are pretty at first but after 2 solid hours will drive you to drink, and I learned that this new move tested us all.   We pretty much passed and are all still speaking to each other so that counts.  And in case you don’t know what a cicada is, allow me to present to you this picture below.  Ewww.

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I missed you, dear readers and now that I have internet (mostly) and the monsters are back at school (mostly) I will do a better job of entertaining you with my stories of what not to do as a parent, sister, daughter, wife and farmhand.   Till than, toodles!

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